The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
