I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
