i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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