i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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