I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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