do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
