cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
