WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
