I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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