Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sorry about my life...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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