I want to have your abortion
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
