Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
