if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
