You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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