My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
