So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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