my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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