So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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