3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
