There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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