yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
one might say we're banned from that church
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
so much tequila, so little girl.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
