hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
