I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
