He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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