i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
