I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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