is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude i'm inner monologue high
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
