Well apparently he's into motor boating.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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