I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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