So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
