Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
