Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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