literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
