Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
