my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
