Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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