So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When did angry sex become our thing?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
