girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
