Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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