Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
