I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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