Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
