Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
