thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
