I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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