Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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