Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
