im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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