Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that