Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed