dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
