Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.