did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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