question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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