I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sorry my hands just texted you
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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