I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
