Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
