He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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