Just mADE A PArabola og urine
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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