Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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